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And once again, a whole month just sort of slides by unnoticed. Haven't been online much, and I apologize to the friends I've been neglecting. I've missed you all terribly.

I keep putting off writing an entry about the whole thing because it's hard to do justice to all the ups and downs and weird little dramas, and I'm not great with words. We've pretty much settled into the new place now; a couple weeks of taking out trash and wiping down countertops, little mundane things, have gone a long way toward making the place feel like home. We've even established Sunday as cleaning day, because hell, many families do something tedious on Sunday mornings and ours may as well be something useful.

Speaking of family, Terry's with us, and we're all acclimating to each other. There's been the usual friction you get when you stick a bunch of humans in a box and let them bounce off each other, but Terry has been absolutely sweet and helpful, and I could not ask for a better—or cuter—roommate.

So here I am, living with a bunch of people I've known on the internet since I was 13 or younger. I talked to them constantly while I was growing up, and they were important to me in ways I can't begin to quantify, but my parents rarely acknowledged them except to call them my "fake computer friends" while admonishing me to go Out and find Real Friends. This... feels like a major victory.

(For what it's worth, I had plenty of offline friends, especially once I hit high school. It was just incomprehensible to my parents that I could be so attached to people I met on the internet that meeting "real people" would not instantly evaporate my bond with them.)
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Saw my parents yesterday for the first time in a year. We sat and drank coffee and talked for a couple of hours in the backyard of their new house in Maine. I actually got along with my mom. My dad, who has major depression, seemed to be in a genuinely good mood.

Got to see my baby doggie again too. She's less of a nervous wreck than she used to be, but still doesn't like anyone except the immediate family and small children. It was reassuring that, though I've seen her only once in two years, she recognized me on sight and greeted me like I'd never been gone.

She has grey hair around her eyes now. She was only seven weeks old when I adopted her in 2000. It's odd, because I'm pretty sure that happened last week.
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Just for fun, I searched for tattoo studios near Merrimac, MA. Aside from one lacklustre offering in the next town over, the nearest destination for tattoo studios is the little border town of Seabrook, NH (pop. 8,500) — which has six of them.

I was surprised, and then I wasn't. Seabrook is a place that really hams up its New Hampshireness. The moment you cross state lines, it's LIQUOR! FIREWORKS! CIGARETTES! STRIP CLUBS! TATTOOS! NO SALES TAX!! as far as the eye can see. The place relishes its skeeviness. So I didn't expect to find much more in these artists' portfolios than pin-up girls, skulls on fire, Irish-American pride kitsch, badly-shaded crosses wrapped in ribbons of text, and that same fucking picture of Boris Karloff as Frankenstein's monster that everybody gets.

Color me surprised as hell. Now, the site's kind of clunky and abuses Javascript, and there's no zooming in so there's precious little detail to be seen. But what is available is enough to drool over. I'm strongly considering consulting this guy someday, when I finally decide which Kunstformen der Natur print to cover my back with and have the money to make it happen.
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"We learn about the stars by receiving and interpreting the messages which their light brings to us. The message of the Companion of Sirius when it was decoded ran: 'I am composed of material 3,000 times denser than anything you have ever come across; a ton of my material would be a little nugget that you could put in a matchbox.' What reply can one make to such a message? The reply which most of us made in 1914 was—'Shut up. Don't talk nonsense.' " — Arthur Stanley Eddington, Stars and Atoms, 1927
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I'm standing at the kitchen table and Eris is sitting at my feet, dutifully fussing over my skirt ties. I can get so used to this.
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"Untrammeled homosexuality can take over and destroy a social system. If you isolate sexuality as something solely for one's own personal amusement, and all you want is the most satisfying orgasm you can get - and that is what homosexuality seems to be - then homosexuality seems too powerful to resist. The evidence is that men do a better job on men and women on women, if all you are looking for is orgasm .... It's pure sexuality. It's almost like pure heroin. It's such a rush. . . . Marital sex tends toward the boring end. Generally, it doesn't deliver the kind of sheer sexual pleasure that homosexual sex does." — Michigan Journal of Gender & Law, Chaos, Law, and God: The Religious Meanings of Homosexuality, 2008

Found here via here.
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Eris: (finding a glass that the cat knocked over) "Oh. That's good."
Me: "Is it broken?"
"No, that's why it's good."
"Oh. You sounded kind of sarcastic."
"I thought you said I didn't have a sarcastic voice."
"You do, kind of. It's very subtly different."
(triumphantly) "I'm subtle!"

Disregard last post. That day sucked; the day after quite made up for it and I've been back on an even keel since.

...Also, I just got up in the middle of writing this post, stepped on my laptop's power brick and went sliding across the wood floor. I kept my balance and neither end of the cord was adversely affected. It would have been pretty cool if it were intentional.
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I really want to have one of those days where I'm feeling happy and pretty, confident enough to dress a little flamboyantly and flounce around the city like a free spirit.

Instead I just feel ugly and dumpy, everything I try on makes me look like a potato, and I think my mood's better suited to grumping around in a darkened room all day. The weather outside is perfect and it's only making me more depressed.

Yeah, I dunno what happened either. Yesterday was damn near perfect. Lately my mood's been on and off like a neon sign in front of a cheap motel.
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the glitchy transition between Bocuma and Roygbiv.

Also, I quit the damn job. Academia, watch the fuck out.
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Today we blundered our way to Boston, Meg to get fingerprinted and badged for the new job, Eris and I to meet up for coffee with lovely people. Meg joined us later and fun and debauchery were had by all. I'm nicely exhausted so this will be short, but:
  • Boxerbriefs under a skirt: genius. No chafing of thighs when I walk, particularly in hot weather.
  • I had the idea of writing down the names of all the books/films/comics/videogames that were recommended to us, but only actually wrote down one of them before I got lost in sketching. Everything mentioned will surely come up again eventually, so I'm not too worried. :)
  • Got to watch Peggy sketch a lot, which is a real pleasure.
  • I uh...forgot to plan ahead for vital functions like eating. Hardly did any of it until 18:00. It's silly, because we were at a cafe, but the jitters I get from meeting new people (which actually evaporated pretty quickly, thanks to the warm and friendly company) translated into a lingering reluctance to go up and order food. I was teetering a bit by the time we got back to North Station. Goes to show that, although I've mostly got my social anxiety managed and I can usually function as well as anyone 'normal', it will still sneak up and nip me sometimes. This is a very minor quibble and I'm still looking entirely forward to meeting up again. :)
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I guess I have a lot of nightmares that I usually don't remember. I know this because I'm apparently quite vocal and Meg's a light sleeper. Last night, as Meg tells it, I screamed "Oh my god!" and pulled the blankets over my head. I didn't settle down until she started piling more blankets on top of me.
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 I'm always always always on the verge of something and when it finally happens I'm going to fall into it and fall forever and never look back.
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Social quota (baseline):
Social quota (current):
It is absolutely not helping that the new tenants and their parents have been in and out of the apartment all day, moving all of their stuff into our dining room and living room and office, before we've even finished moving our own stuff out. There are boxes everywhere and one girl's mom keeps trying to smalltalk me. I desperately want to escape to what is still technically my bedroom and just hide and recharge for a while, but I can't because there's still shit to do. Plus I've either come down with bronchitis or I'm having an awful allergic reaction to all the dust we've kicked up while cleaning.


Apr. 26th, 2010 09:28 pm
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 Everything's coming up Siggle!
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Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
It's all right, it's all right
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LJ was behaving in a manner most sketch (see [ profile] shatterstripes' What is LJ Doing to My Links? series), so here I am. I'm not quite jumping ship yet, but so far dreamwidth seems pretty exciting, so I'll see where this takes me. It might be time for a clean break from a younger version of me whom I remember fondly (albeit with pangs of embarrassment) but who represents very little of my current self, which is why I'm considering not importing my old entries.


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Signal 23

September 2010

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